Do you ever wish that when something so terrible happens , totally unexpected and heart breaking...... you would open your eyes, to find that it was only a dream? I do, everyday for the past few weeks... Trying to come up with answers that aren't there. Making sense of the non sensible Things that shouldn't be are and those that should be aren't.
I try to take my mind off this, but I find it drifting back. Denial? very could be and maybe. Heart breaking? absolutely. Make sense? none at all. And yet, I go over and over in my mind, why? how?
I keep thinking I am going to wake up from this awful nightmare and things be the way they are suppose to be....
Why do we put ourselves through this? is it because denial makes it not real? or is it just our minds coping the only way it knows how? But what of the unanswered questions? Until I get my answers, I am afraid I will never have my peace of mind. I have no one to talk to with this, I keep it to myself.... my own private hell. No one understands.......... I am beginning to become consumed and this isn't good for my health and my girls. I will find my way and being angry at why and how and no answers will work itself through some how. I keep my faith and believe that with all that has happened, I keep my heart and the goodness inside from all the nonsense
So, I ride this nightmare out and hope that one day, I find the dream inside.
Thanks----
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