Friday, January 17, 2014

Redemption/Soul searching?

Have you ever looked back over your life and wished you could had done things differently? Some things we can't because of time passing but others we can make right. 
Over the years, how I treated someone in my past has been nagging at me down in my stomach. This person was and is a great friend.. He stood by me through thick and thin. He and his friends were the best.. I called them "my guys". This guy deeply cared for me but being YDS (young-dumb-stupid) phase and my attitude; I ignored and was not quite nice many times, but then he stayed around. We met at a grocery store at 18 and then started hanging out and he became my dancing partner at Thunder Birds.... every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Those days were one of the best of my young life. 
Many times, when things have not gone  my way or a relationship didn't work out, I think maybe this is my punishment for treating he and others as if they were only there for me, especially this one.  I have thought about him wandering how he was and how things have been since the night his/our friends came in and said "he's getting married, tomorrow". He cares for you but look at what you have done to him, can he trust in you? he deserves someone that will care for him too.  That knocked me down a peg or two... or three.. but our friends were right, I was not wanting to be tied down, wanted to finish school and trying to rear my daughter properly.  Granted I have not finished my bachelors degree , YET.. 
I can break off and tell a story about one of these guys I was not so nice to.....   I was huge and pregnant and shopping with my mother-in-law with my oldest daughter in our hometown , Tupelo. I was waiting in line of the Christmas season when someone came in and pecked me on the shoulder and asked if I were Bobbie.. yes.. then he commenced to say who he was and how awful I was to him by my actions. I was jaw dropping stunned... I told him I was sorry and that is , quite often, how it was for me back in my party -youth days and that it was a long time ago........   He still walked away hurt and mad...   It was an eye-opener. 
Back to my dear old friend...      Now bring forward 25 years......  I was sitting in my living room and now with the device of a computer, I looked him up......   after picking up and putting down the phone ...  over fear of what he would say or do....   I said to myself......  "come on, girl......it's just a conversation" the worst can happen .....  phone hangs up......then you will know. I called, his wife answers and I tell her that I am an old friend of his and if he were home, can I speak with him.......   she said just a moment, he was in the other room. He did -to my surprise- answer. after a few minutes of catching up on our lives and children....  I told him I had been thinking about him alot over the years and how truly sorry, I am for how I treated him. "you were there for me when I thought no one would be and you were the best guy and friend, I could have". I told him that I didn't know if this was for redemption for me or just soul searching but I couldn't go another day without telling him how sorry I was....He was a great guy.   He said he had forgiven me years ago and thought of me over the years as I had him.. We ended our conversation with we all need to get together for lunch sometime.. all the gang...  We still haven't but to know that option is there makes a smile.   
Be careful how you treat those around you especially those that care for you or you for them. One day they might come up to you as this one did with me and tell you how you affected them with what you had done. 
It's an eye opener and starts you thinking.   

Thanks-----



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