I have been off a while pondering on me turning the Big 5 0.. yes, the AARP brochures, half-century mark 50 and what it means to be this age, for me...
When I was younger, about 6 or 7 and standing outside Lawhon Elementary School in Tupelo, MS; watching the teenage girls walk by and say to the other that they could not wait until 18 years old.. Eighteen , Eighteen, heck I could not even think that far ahead and that seemed way to old for me to even think about. I said to myself "wow, that is really old" and then went about my business as any 6 year old.
By the time I did turn 18; i thought the world was my oyster, could do anything, hell invincible, even, as any young person does. We didn't think of many of the things that we do as we get older, just finishing up school and hanging out and getting ready for college was the priority, then.
Turning 21, you take a look back and go, okay, legal for adult things now and say ''' Hell, yeah"" but then it doesn't seem that fun anymore.. Getting away or trying to get away or around things was or seemed much more fun than being legal to try or do now.
Then comes the 30's.. Most of us married and children by now and in a good job and then you start thinking back to the young years and how you ever got to make it this far. You start thinking about school and friends and how much fun those times were and how much they meant to you.. You never really thought about it until now because then you were just in the moment... now those moments seems to be fading away. Those moments have become a special place you go in your mind to remember and rewind.
Now in the 40's .. Times seem to be as they should be.. your work is stable.. children are grown or almost grown and you and the spouse can have moments to yourself.. Not running around with school projects, concerts, bands and games.. You try to start enjoying your time. I remember saying at one time. I remember 20 years ago, i was only 18 or 20 and now when i say i remember.. I stop and say 'Holy hell, that was a long time ago".. Those years keep getting farther and farther apart and the memories are there but you keep having to fight harder to remember. Throughout the years, you have had many more memories to store back in the mind and sometimes those that were young seem to be forgotten.
Now here comes 50..... I am only 2 days into it but I am ready for what it brings me.. or should I say what I can bring it... I am looking forward to this new decade of my life. I know who I am and what I want from this life now and come hell or high water, I will make it happen,,, this time. My girls are all but on their own and mom is needed less and less, which sad but as it should be. Mom becomes the word as Friend now to our children but still a parent nonetheless... I stop, though, and worry and think about things that maybe I shouldn't.. I say this because my mom died at age 54 and I keep telling myself, if i can make it to 54 then i know i can make it.. I know that is morbid but turning 50 scared the heck out of me because i knew that in the back of my mind ,my mother, didn't make it to be and elderly woman.. But I know she is with me and holding my hand through these years and with luck, she will walk those elderly years with me.
Turning 50 is a high point of our lives and now just beginning to live and I have lots more, hopefully, to live. One good thing for this day and age.. they say that 50 is the new 30. Well, heck.. I'm all good.. I have another 20 years to get to where I am now.
Well, stating life to live.. I need to get up and start life today. It is beautiful out and I want to go outside and enjoy this sunny, 60F weather day.
Until next time....
Thanks----
When I was younger, about 6 or 7 and standing outside Lawhon Elementary School in Tupelo, MS; watching the teenage girls walk by and say to the other that they could not wait until 18 years old.. Eighteen , Eighteen, heck I could not even think that far ahead and that seemed way to old for me to even think about. I said to myself "wow, that is really old" and then went about my business as any 6 year old.
By the time I did turn 18; i thought the world was my oyster, could do anything, hell invincible, even, as any young person does. We didn't think of many of the things that we do as we get older, just finishing up school and hanging out and getting ready for college was the priority, then.
Turning 21, you take a look back and go, okay, legal for adult things now and say ''' Hell, yeah"" but then it doesn't seem that fun anymore.. Getting away or trying to get away or around things was or seemed much more fun than being legal to try or do now.
Then comes the 30's.. Most of us married and children by now and in a good job and then you start thinking back to the young years and how you ever got to make it this far. You start thinking about school and friends and how much fun those times were and how much they meant to you.. You never really thought about it until now because then you were just in the moment... now those moments seems to be fading away. Those moments have become a special place you go in your mind to remember and rewind.
Now in the 40's .. Times seem to be as they should be.. your work is stable.. children are grown or almost grown and you and the spouse can have moments to yourself.. Not running around with school projects, concerts, bands and games.. You try to start enjoying your time. I remember saying at one time. I remember 20 years ago, i was only 18 or 20 and now when i say i remember.. I stop and say 'Holy hell, that was a long time ago".. Those years keep getting farther and farther apart and the memories are there but you keep having to fight harder to remember. Throughout the years, you have had many more memories to store back in the mind and sometimes those that were young seem to be forgotten.
Now here comes 50..... I am only 2 days into it but I am ready for what it brings me.. or should I say what I can bring it... I am looking forward to this new decade of my life. I know who I am and what I want from this life now and come hell or high water, I will make it happen,,, this time. My girls are all but on their own and mom is needed less and less, which sad but as it should be. Mom becomes the word as Friend now to our children but still a parent nonetheless... I stop, though, and worry and think about things that maybe I shouldn't.. I say this because my mom died at age 54 and I keep telling myself, if i can make it to 54 then i know i can make it.. I know that is morbid but turning 50 scared the heck out of me because i knew that in the back of my mind ,my mother, didn't make it to be and elderly woman.. But I know she is with me and holding my hand through these years and with luck, she will walk those elderly years with me.
Turning 50 is a high point of our lives and now just beginning to live and I have lots more, hopefully, to live. One good thing for this day and age.. they say that 50 is the new 30. Well, heck.. I'm all good.. I have another 20 years to get to where I am now.
Well, stating life to live.. I need to get up and start life today. It is beautiful out and I want to go outside and enjoy this sunny, 60F weather day.
Until next time....
Thanks----
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