Chance or Design

When one door closes another one opens.  That is true in every case. There is usually a reason for  the people that come into our lives or things that happen .. by chance or by design.. 
Whatever the circumstance of that one door closing trust the reason though it may be unclear at the moment, is/was necessary for growth or some lesson to learn. We always fear the unknown of walking through that next door or chapter in our lives.but once we go through, we often find ourselves in a much better place.  It could be a new job, new friend, new house or new love. Each of us, right now, have just closed a door in our lives and most of us already know the next door/chapter to walk to and others of us are still seeking that next door. Don't look back .........backwards was a learning phase and only moving forward can we grow and teach.
All of our journey's we take can lead us to the path of being much happier and wiser and a life of no regrets... that is if we choose it... Embrace that new door and walk through without fear, you might be surprised at what you find.  

Thanks------

My take on Passion

Passion (from the Latin verb patī meaning to suffer) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.
The term is also often applied to a lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity or love – to a feeling of unusual excitement, enthusiasm or compelling emotion, a positive affinity or love, towards a subject. It is particularly used in the context of romance or sexual desire though it generally implies a deeper or more encompassing emotion than that implied by the term lust.

What are you passionate about or who? 

I am passionate about lots of things. I can tell you when I get on the things that drive my passion......  I am one force to reckon with whether it be in a good way or not so good way.

 I am passionate about singing, not that I can carry a tune, at this point, but love how some songs just take me on a path to some of my emotions. How some of the words can just take you to a tear or a smile.

 I am passionate about my modeling ......... love, love that all the hard work in the past has given me confidence and knowing that I am only 5'2... when I get on that runway.....I am 6' tall.. It's given me grace and shown me that I can. Now to say that none of you know who I am or seen me on anything, but watch out.....you will (gonna have to be some changes or me making some changes but watch out) . 

I am back into acting and love the new found passion I have for it. It's hard work and so far, I only represent myself, which is not that bad, I have gotten myself work, but I do hope to get an agent at one point. Now that I am older, I find it more fun than I did in my late 20's and early 30's. I submit, show up and do what is asked of me and I get to see a whole bunch of people that are there for the same thing as I and of course, get paid for it. 


 I am passionate about some movies and books.... those that can take me on a journey whether it be fiction or a true story, I love how I can imagine me in their place or time and take the journey with the author or the screenwriter.

 I have a great deal of passion on my faith. My love of God and the word of God is something I try to live by, without that one man on my side or either of our sides, we are lost lambs. Without faith in whatever your religion may be-- where would we be?  and don't get me started on my political views (usually gets me into trouble). The passion I have for my family and I have a huge family and although, we may argue and not talk for days, let someone go after one of them...

 I have passion for love.. you know that kind of love you have so deep inside that the mere thought of the person brings a smile and the sun shines a little brighter, words are a bit sweeter and you can't get enough of them. How when they look into your eyes, you get it? You can feel them touch your soul and it's more than any physical touch can ever be.

  I am passionate about my work in massage therapy. I love how what I do makes a difference to another person. How it helps them mind, body and soul. They (clients) come in with an ache or pain on neck, shoulder, back or lower back  and I do what I do best and I can tell you when you love what you do and know what you do, you do make a difference to so many.  

I am passionate about my causes such as animal abuse or abuse of another human being. I have given up my home to many of god's smallest creatures, saved a few from my cats. It breaks my heart to see someone abuse/mistreat them. And as for the human kind, I have been a Victim's Advocate and sharing my time with helping them through one of the worst times in their lives is a feeling you can not can describe. It does a heart good.

This year, I intend to get more involved with many of these and finally face my fears and have my voice.

Whatever your passion, show it with conviction but with class and grace. 

Thanks-----

Our Gift of Life

As I grow older, I find that life is a gift.. A gift that only comes once. We are all born for/with a purpose and it's in each of us to seek that purpose. Some of us want fame and fortune, while others seek fortune, some strive for being the best of the best and others just want to get by...

 Nothing is terribly wrong with any of us wanting and wishing. It's how we get there. Some care nothing but for themselves; stepping on others and using others to seek what they want (we all know a few in this category) while others only give of themselves; whether it be time or money. Is there a happy medium?  I am not sure, quite a few say there is, but I have yet to find that happy medium of juggling between what I want as to what is best for me. 

Someone told me while I was in there office in Tupelo, one day, that she could see that I was brought to this earth for greatness that I am bound for the spiritual  rather than secular. I have thought about that over the years and still don't know (exactly) what she meant but I think I am figuring it out.  

 I've been fortunate enough to be most anything I have strived to become, maybe not in such a  way that I have seen myself to be, I have done lots of things that I normally wouldn't have done as in travel by myself, get on stage and sing in front of hundreds of people, even become a victim's advocate. See as a young girl, I was always scared of many things didn't want any attention on me, I felt that as long as I was in the background, I would be overlooked as if I were invisible. Luckily, I grew up and found and still finding my way--- a late bloomer, so I have been told.   I say all of this not to dissuade anyone's dream of being that famous, wealthy actress/model/writer or athlete or maybe be the best singer in the world. That's why we were born, to become whatever we wish. We are all unique, all of us are God's creation, not one of us has the same ears or same fingerprints but we all have the same functions in our bodies, heart, lungs, etc.. It was said many years ago, that our lives have been planned out for us before we were born in that Book of Life. True or not? It's not for me to say or ask, but I would like to think that yes, I am born but what path I choose or have chosen is mine(my choices), whether to learn or grow and mainly mistakes but these paths have made me who I am today.

   So, what if someone only wants to be a mom or a wife or someone wants to just work in a factory, as long as they are happy and maybe at their "happy medium", who are we to judge? Not all of us want and strive for fame and or fortune and that's okay too.  Those that connive and go up that corporate ladder on the backs of others will have their own cross to bear, maybe- if those people have a conscious.

Our lives are a gift we should and need to cherish each day. As parents, we remember the birth of our children and say what a blessing this little gift is...........   well, it is....... Life is a blessing within itself, yet some of us feel the need to take our gift and use it --- abuse it--- even try to destroy it.  I speak from experience; I have used, abused and tried to destroy my life and finally find that it's within me to make whatever greatness, I am to become and do it with honesty and for me.

Take care of this gift, for as we all know---We are born to die and dying is inevitable for all of us. Let this  gift of life guide you to your greatness, after all we are all a precious commodity; we are worth more than gold.


Thanks------------



 

Wearing High Heeled Shoes and your Legs

This is more for the ladies out here than anyone. I have just finished my last EVLT on my legs, due to obstructions. The blood and oxygen were not flowing properly and causing pain. At times, hard to walk even for 5 minutes. Went in to kill off the veins causing the problems and in hopes the blood will find a new route to other veins. The procedures were painful ( to  me anyways) and went according to plan (as so the doctor says).

Update:  I have another month to finish healing and then back to the doctor for another ABI test to see if all obstructions are gone.

Now to how I got them........   One is from the horse accident from last year. who would thought that little horse could do so much damage, thrown flat on my back (thankfully no broken bones only full skeleton bruising) and concussion which caused a whole other problem with my heart (which in turn is part of this problem).

Another problem HEELS... Ladies they make our legs look great in some outfits and appear taller but they will do the damage to our feet and legs as well as crossing those legs........Don't cross your legs!!!!! As much as we love the heels and think they build our calf muscles, actually lower heels will do that much better and less stress on your feet. Once the damage is done, it is rarely reversible depending on the problem and the person. I am not saying not wear heels, shoot, I still wear them but not those 4" heels any longer. I am saying, wear smaller ones or limit the time in the ones you do wear.

So, ladies, I will say again.........  Those shoes may make you feel good (until they start hurting your feet) for a small amount of time, but your legs and feet are yours for a life time. Be kind to them... They are all you have.

Thanks--------

Memories of Tupelo

I look back on my growing up in small town, Tupelo, Mississippi and it seemed/s so different now. Hell, it is different.
 When I travel back home, the streets that I used to frequent so often, I have to look at the sign to make sure I am on that street. Some of the places I used to go are shut down or have become something else. I go downtown and I don't even recognize the area (I have to do a double take.) Let's face it---- things/places change over time and all we have and share are memories.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first child and eating at the Taco Hut where I would buy two Senorita Dinners (yes, two which consisted of refried  beans, little salad, and if not mistaken two taco's) I was eating for two.. :)  I loved going there.
Thank goodness Johnny's Drive-in is still around... love those burgers and shakes.  Yummy Yogurt was a big thing for me back in the day, every Saturday, I would spend a couple of hours trying out the menu and when they began their sandwich menu --- favorite was the Italian Roast Beef with hot peppers--- that, for me, was the best.

 Our hospital, when I worked there was known and still may be today as the largest non-metropolitan hospital in the country. (is it still?) ThunderBirds or TBirds was a great place to dance and for those that did the party scene-great party place. Bogarts, loved going there, it's atmosphere was quite different than TBirds. Not sure if these are still around but of course, with change they may have become something bigger/better or nothing at all.

 Lake Lee was a place of fun in the sun during the summertime for everyone and on the 4th of July, packed with entertainment of skiers/boaters showing off and lots of cook outs.. The Lee Drive In was for the most part my second home, there all the time, my parents worked there, my sister and i worked there. It was right beside the bowling ally, Reb-a-lanes?,correct? (i broke it up, not sure of the spelling from memory) I remember Mr and Mrs. Heard and my sweet old, Smitty, he was like a second grandfather always so nice.

Tupelo was a place and still is a place that one can grow with the values of small town USA as well as the taste of growing/expanding new ideas and businesses of tomorrow.  

I miss my old Tupelo, but as they say, things have to change and we must change with it or be left behind. After all, changes are necessary.  Tupelo will always be home for me, the place of my birth and youth. I still have a huge family and great number of friends in Tupelo and all those memories that as I grow older, keep flooding my mind and I smile. 

Thanks------

The day I was "clinically dead"

It has been a few days since my last blog. I have been trying to write in my journal ---- basically--- trying to quiet my mind. Also, trying to start an outline for my book(s) and trying to figure out my concept for my business design for massage therapy.  

While I am doing all of this and watching tv, on a break, I found my thoughts going into the realm of  what happens when you leave this body/this earth. 

 I have to share this story because it's been weighing heavy on my mind.  Where is heaven? Is there a heaven? Do you wait in a place between heaven and earth? or does this living soul go to another realm of time? Each of us at one time or another have asked or thought of what really happens to us after we leave this physical being. I have no answers, just a thought and faith.

In 2001, I had taken some medication that I had become allergic to, by mistake, and I say this because I had talked with my doctor and he says well you are almost done with the dose , so just take OTC's to ease the itching and rash.. Well, I say 'by mistake' because i thought i had thrown out this prescription. Note to anyone--- Do NOT grab medicine in the dark without checking the label.

I was going through a divorce and feeling anxious-- thought i was grabbing something to calm me down and focus, but instead grabbed this medicine and then after I took it , began feeling woozy. So, what did i do? ran for a benadryl thinking i could stop this reaction before it got worse.  Started feeling worse, with more dizziness and feeling flushed, heart racing. Thankfully, i was going to another doctor from referral that day and was suppose to pick up my records from my doctor. By the time, i made it to my physicians office, god only knows how i did, i was walking as if i were tipsy and words slurring .. The nurses asked if i were okay and i said can i sit down for a moment with a garbage can , "i think i am gonna be sick".. Sat down and all of a sudden tried to throw up and then saw the nurses run out to me, calling my name. I remember them putting me in a wheel chair and taking me back to a room and telling me to stay with them.. While on the table, I could hear them talking but could not understand what they were saying. All i heard was 'blood pressure is dropping'..  The next thing, I saw was me looking down at my body with these nurses and doctors working on me and seeing the clouds or it looked like clouds.. I felt no pain and was beginning to look away from my body lying there on the table when i heard a voice, a very stern voice calling "Bobbie Sue".. All of a sudden, my eyes opened and a huge deep breath came with it. That voice was my mother. How could this be? She died 11 years before; losing her battle with cancer. 

I say this because for a small amount of time---- I was clinically dead... After getting out of the hospital, the nurse called me from my doctors office and said we were so worried that you were not going to make it."Did you know you had no pulse and heart beat", she said.. "no", i replied. This was shocking to me, i was actually dead, i had died.

In the hospital, i remember hearing the nurses during the night that my blood pressure was dropping was 40/20, then 30/20 but here i am.. I made it through. 

Why say this? I say this because you hear those that share their near death experiences with white lights and some seeing those they loved. I didn't see the white lights or see anyone other than the group of people trying to save my life down below; all i saw was white- like i was walking on clouds. Whatever and however each of us think or our religion or faith, we can all agree that those above that have left before us, know the plan and with us opening our eyes for a new breath of air----------- it was not our time to join them--- we are not finished here on earth. My mother's voice sticks in my head, it's funny in a way because usually she would call me Bobbie Sue when I was in trouble. You always know when your mom calls you by your full name you are in deep doodoo.. 

I always think back to that day and wonder what purpose do i have? what more do i need to do? Whatever, the wayward walk off my paths that i do--- my mom and family-- guides me back to the place I need to be.. I know I have much to do,yet and I need to embrace this short life and LIVE.

Keep FAITH and know there is another place and time for us, that when we leave this body we were given, our souls live on---somewhere----

Thanks---

I wake up with teeth at my feet.. (another funny story of my roommate and her teeth)

Another funny story about my roommate, Sherry.  

One night, Sherry and I were out at the Hilton having drink after a long day at work and when we arrived back at the apartment instead of going straight to bed she and I were in her room (she had a over sized King bed), we were watching television and talking about life and work.

I fell asleep and during the night I kept hearing the sheets ruffling and waving about, at first, I didn't pay attention and just tried going back to sleep. No, didn't happen, not only were the sheets waving about, I started feeling Sherry patting on the bed. She was literally on her hands and knees on the bed patting about, frantically.  She was so funny and if you could have seen her, you would have started laughing  as I did. I sat up and asked if she was okay and after a simple head shake yes, she says to go back to sleep.. I tried, seriously, I tried but the patting  became more like a pounding and she was now throwing the sheets about instead of waving them around. Finally, I had enough and sat up again and asked if everything was okay, again she shakes her head yes, by now, I am paying attention to her as that I am completely awake and notice her holding her mouth. 

After noticing her holding her hand over her mouth and now a bit worried, I turned on the night light and ask her, "Sherry what is wrong?" "You are holding your hand to your mouth and I can barely here you talk".. Well, now, let me begin to tell you, at this point in our friendship and being roommates, I never knew she had false teeth until that night. She says "okay, I was trying to find them before you woke up, but not the case so I will tell you.... I wear false teeth or a bridge on my upper jaw."  I told her that it was okay and her secret would be safe with me and I would help her try to find them. We searched all over that bed to no avail and finally we gave up and went back to sleep. 

 During the third time of trying to sleep, I started tossing and turning and turning and tossing and flailing my legs about trying to get comfortable and as I finally started to get comfortable and settle down, my foot hit something in the bed... cold and felt like it bit me.  I didn't want to wake Sherry because of  her being awake for so long looking for her missing piece so I nervously pulled my feet up to my chest and sat up to start patting the bed to find out what that was. I slipped my hands under the covers to grab the culprit and to my amazement, it was the missing teeth.. I started screaming in a bit of fright. In the half darkness those white teeth looked a bit frightening to a 19 year old. Sherry jumped up and I yelled stating I think I found your teeth and what were they doing on my side of the bed and down by my feet.."They bit me", I said.  
Bless her, without saying another word, she grabbed them and put them in her mouth and said .. "Whew, I thought maybe I had swallowed them"... "Really, really!!!" I replied... Then looked over at her and she was smiling and I knew she was trying to get my mind away from the incident and we just laughed..

No more sleeping after that. We got up and went out for breakfast with teeth in tow. 

Thanks-----