Thursday, February 5, 2015

The day I was "clinically dead"

It has been a few days since my last blog. I have been trying to write in my journal ---- basically--- trying to quiet my mind. Also, trying to start an outline for my book(s) and trying to figure out my concept for my business design for massage therapy.  

While I am doing all of this and watching tv, on a break, I found my thoughts going into the realm of  what happens when you leave this body/this earth. 

 I have to share this story because it's been weighing heavy on my mind.  Where is heaven? Is there a heaven? Do you wait in a place between heaven and earth? or does this living soul go to another realm of time? Each of us at one time or another have asked or thought of what really happens to us after we leave this physical being. I have no answers, just a thought and faith.

In 2001, I had taken some medication that I had become allergic to, by mistake, and I say this because I had talked with my doctor and he says well you are almost done with the dose , so just take OTC's to ease the itching and rash.. Well, I say 'by mistake' because i thought i had thrown out this prescription. Note to anyone--- Do NOT grab medicine in the dark without checking the label.

I was going through a divorce and feeling anxious-- thought i was grabbing something to calm me down and focus, but instead grabbed this medicine and then after I took it , began feeling woozy. So, what did i do? ran for a benadryl thinking i could stop this reaction before it got worse.  Started feeling worse, with more dizziness and feeling flushed, heart racing. Thankfully, i was going to another doctor from referral that day and was suppose to pick up my records from my doctor. By the time, i made it to my physicians office, god only knows how i did, i was walking as if i were tipsy and words slurring .. The nurses asked if i were okay and i said can i sit down for a moment with a garbage can , "i think i am gonna be sick".. Sat down and all of a sudden tried to throw up and then saw the nurses run out to me, calling my name. I remember them putting me in a wheel chair and taking me back to a room and telling me to stay with them.. While on the table, I could hear them talking but could not understand what they were saying. All i heard was 'blood pressure is dropping'..  The next thing, I saw was me looking down at my body with these nurses and doctors working on me and seeing the clouds or it looked like clouds.. I felt no pain and was beginning to look away from my body lying there on the table when i heard a voice, a very stern voice calling "Bobbie Sue".. All of a sudden, my eyes opened and a huge deep breath came with it. That voice was my mother. How could this be? She died 11 years before; losing her battle with cancer. 

I say this because for a small amount of time---- I was clinically dead... After getting out of the hospital, the nurse called me from my doctors office and said we were so worried that you were not going to make it."Did you know you had no pulse and heart beat", she said.. "no", i replied. This was shocking to me, i was actually dead, i had died.

In the hospital, i remember hearing the nurses during the night that my blood pressure was dropping was 40/20, then 30/20 but here i am.. I made it through. 

Why say this? I say this because you hear those that share their near death experiences with white lights and some seeing those they loved. I didn't see the white lights or see anyone other than the group of people trying to save my life down below; all i saw was white- like i was walking on clouds. Whatever and however each of us think or our religion or faith, we can all agree that those above that have left before us, know the plan and with us opening our eyes for a new breath of air----------- it was not our time to join them--- we are not finished here on earth. My mother's voice sticks in my head, it's funny in a way because usually she would call me Bobbie Sue when I was in trouble. You always know when your mom calls you by your full name you are in deep doodoo.. 

I always think back to that day and wonder what purpose do i have? what more do i need to do? Whatever, the wayward walk off my paths that i do--- my mom and family-- guides me back to the place I need to be.. I know I have much to do,yet and I need to embrace this short life and LIVE.

Keep FAITH and know there is another place and time for us, that when we leave this body we were given, our souls live on---somewhere----

Thanks---

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